Going For The Kiss
The step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it’s time to smootch.
Today’s question covers a particularly sensitive topic – how to go for the kiss. Most guys won’t admit it, but they fumble this moment like a rookie running back. Want to be Walter Payton? Listen up.
Dear Stephen, Recently, I was out on a date with a great girl I met at a party. A number of times in the evening, she would look at me and hold the stare a bit longer than usual. I kept thinking, “she wants me to kiss her”. I was so nervous though, that I never went for it! What is the best way to set-up a kiss with a girl? I mean, I know how to kiss her, I just wonder if there is a cool way to make the move. Help! Thanks, Darren CT.
Darren, Darren, Darren… I feel your pain, man. First of all, don’t worry – this is by far the TOP question I get from guys. “How do I smoothly go from talking to kissing?”
Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I’ve come across are constantly looking to handle this tricky situation a bit better.
Here we go – the step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it’s time to smootch:
In my estimation, this is where most guys blow it. They know the girl is ready to be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move, waiting for that perfect one.
Even worse, they’ll wait hoping the woman will make the first move!
Yea right, like that would ever happen!
If you’re the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you… There are no perfect windows of opportunity, just many good ones. 99% of the time she will not be the first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky.
How do we handle this slightly awkward situation?
The key here is spotting these good, small windows of opportunity and then taking advantage of them.
Even better is to just create these windows yourself.
Let’s cover this point-by-point:
The first thing to make sure of is that you’re both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point it is important that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part.
When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of the interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your speech, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE.
Now here’s the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by her as the smoothest guy ever… During each of those pauses in your conversation, stare at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring at her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you’re saying at this point become irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick.
Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again. If she has not moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer.
Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers.
In her mind, you are the world’s smoothest man.