Friends with benefits
I’ve been offered several times to be”friends with benefits”which sounds like bullshit but it works when I just want to bone the guy;) But recently I had a guy I really thought I clicked with say I”wasn’t what he was looking for as far as a girlfriend”and couldn’t put his finger on what it was I did wrong. But he said he had a good time on our date and wouldn’t mind being friends or friends with benefits. How can I get guys to think of me as worth more than that like how I see myself? Anonymous asked: I’ve been offered several times to be”friends with benefits”which sounds like bullshit but it works when I just want to bone the guy;) But recently I had a guy I really thought I clicked with say I”wasn’t what he was looking for as far as a girlfriend”and couldn’t put his finger on what it was I did wrong. But he said he had a good time on our date and wouldn’t mind being friends or friends with benefits. How can I get guys to think of me as worth more than that like how I see myself?
Here’s the thing with men—they ALWAYS say that if you ask them too early! Your problem isn’t that men don’t see you as girlfriend material, it’s that you’re asking too early for that sort of commitment!
Remember, to men, commitment is fucking scary and they give up their manly drive to hunt vagina like deer in open season when they commit to a chick and they are NOT about to do that if they can help it. Your goal is to get under their skin through enough repeated contact with them that THEY decide they WANT to give that all up to be with you. It’s a long process, and it’s a game, and that is essentially what seduction is—convincing someone else that you’re the shit and you must be snatched up at any cost!
So first of all, don’t bring up commitment and being his girlfriend. Let him do that. Your job is to convince him that’s the right move, and he wants to make it. So wow him on your dates by being charming and pretty and flirty and then when the date is over, disappear for a bit. Men love nothing more than a woman that, quite simply, leaves them alone. Trust me, he won’t be forgetting you, he will be noticing that you don’t *bug* him. He’ll really like that. Then when you do reach out to him again, suggest something fun and exciting to do together. Don’t do the «hey what’s up» «what are you up to?» texts—no always have a reason to text him so he thinks you have a really busy, full life and aren’t bored and pining away for him. He’ll think you’re independent and smart and «not like the other girls».
So do this for awhile, and take him to some fun places, travel with him, have fun. All the while completely acting like you could care less if he dates and fucks other women. Also drop hints that you see other men as well. And keep telling him «I love hanging with you, I love how laid back this is, how we can be together and have fun but not have that heavy commitment shit, you know?»
Basically—reverse psychology his ass. Keep telling him that YOU don’t want commitment, and that YOU want to stay free, and that YOU just don’t see him as a boyfriend. That will freak him out. Obviously, say these things but act like you DO want him as a boyfriend, do little things for him that suggest you really do care (remembering his sandwich order, picking up his favorite soda, listening to him bitch on the phone, ect). That way, he’ll get the signal that you want him enough that he’ll then try to get you.
Eventually he’ll bring up wanting to be with you in a serious relationship and you should definately be hesitant in answering. DO NOT say «OMG YES!!!» immediately, that will turn him off and make him rethink things. Pause and say you’ll think about it. Then ignore him for a few days. Make him uneasy. Come back and say that you’ll give it a shot.
Really, when this guy said to you that you «weren’t what he was looking for as far as a girlfriend goes» he really was saying «I’m not ready for commitment right now because I barely know you and you’re freaking me out by asking me this too soon, and by asking me this at all».
General rule of thumb is that a man does the asking in relationships because the man is the one less likely to want to be in them to begin with. As a female, your job is to get him to ask, to plant the idea in his head to date you WITHOUT HIM KNOWING that that’s what you’re doing. Which is easy, because (no offense) men can be very unaware about the games going on in this whole process.
Anyways, good luck girl! Keep brushing up on the sex (that’s a huge deal with guys and a girl who’s good in bed will automatically get a +2 in their head for the girlfriend department), keep acting like you don’t need him but like him a lot, and let him come to you. Be indepednent but not TOO much, give him enough to want it badly but don’t act like he’s the only option you have. Again, men want to WORK to get the prize (i. e. YOU). So make yourself the prize and just act so self confident and act like «I don’t need you—you need me» and as soon as you start ACTING that way, guys will treat you with the respect you want.
Remember too, fake it until you make it. If this seems like too much, another option is to just act like you’re the queen bee and that no man is good enough for you to date. Say you hook up because the guys you sleep with satisfy you sexually but aren’t good enough to date you. Any guy who hears that won’t think «bitch»—he’ll think «oh wow this girl is picky, I wonder what’s wrong with me, how can I get her to want me??» Psychology dictates that whoever gets turned down, wants that person even more because they said no to them. So don’t be the one getting turned down—BE the one turning them down!
Good luck and remember you are ALWAYS worth the best and make men work to have you! 🙂 xoxo